Commitment, the Lady of Poker wants the ring

I'm at a weird cross roads in my life at the moment. As I have a 9x5 sales job that I don't particularly enjoy or satisfies my financial needs. I have looked at poker as a hobby and something that I would enjoy doing for a living in the last few years.

It's something that I have invested a lot of time and money into learning and becoming proficient at. Something I have enjoyed since I was a teenager, playing with a group of us little degens for 12 hours.

Getting to the point, Overall in my life I have done many things to this extent, getting to the top 80-90% of a certain things, for example automotive racing, multiple online video games, a proficient aquarist and probably a couple other things that I became engulfed with. This is one thing that I am very interested in, besides the money and the life style that goes along with it. n I enjoy the competition and the people around the game. I might be a degen, but it doesn't own me, I own it. Prop bets, betting on sports or last longer with buddies I have always made money. Even bowling something that I'm not that great at (maybe bowl 130 average) but lifetime probably up over a grand in split pickups and big odds on turkeys and wins.

But moving on besides me tooting my own horn or working on my self delusion.

The main issue that i need to work through at the moment is giving something that I enjoy and am also very good at my full attention. Allowing myself to open myself to push and give something my all. I'm not sure if it's a fear of failure, maybe it's a fear of commitment to something or it could be that i'm just lazy.

These are all some of the things that I have been wrestling with.

Dedication and understanding what i'm getting myself into is what i need to understand. There is a long road coming up. Lot's of books to read and digest, Lot's of hours at the tables online and live. There are going to be great swings good and miserable. This is a life style that is not for the weak hearted. Just in the time where I have been playing to pay rent it has been stressful to some extent.